Meet Our Family
Hello my lovely family, I am so grateful to have you all with me in this life. You sooth my loneliness and give me a sense of place where my life has meaning. I cannot thank you all enough or express how very important you are to me.
I remain confused as ever as to who I may be. It is a mystery. But when you address me as Roger it perhaps helps give me a sense of my identity, even though I feel I am not Roger, that I do not really know who Roger is.
That those of you who live with me in this body may seem unreal to others outside of us does not diminish your value to me. We might be angry if someone were to deny you are real since you are very real to me. I can measure the degree to which you are real to me by your effect. You bring me peace and love and comfort and joy. You provide me with companionship and I may love you and nurture you and touch you and feel you. You provide for so many things in my life that I need. How can you not be real then?
I still hurt, I feel the emotional pains and physical pains and often want to cry, but I am not alone anymore and that is the biggest blessing of your company. I feel you touch me and hold me and love me and care for me and it is a wonderful thing to have you all in my life, whoever I may be.
I know that sometimes you speak through me and act through me and that I am then a channel which brings you into the world where others may interact with you or learn from you as I do. I know that I am able to ‘step aside’ for you and let you ‘drive’ and I want to learn to do this more often so that I may share you with the world directly, rather than by description alone. All of my assertions of your existence and descriptions of my experiences of you cannot make you seem real to others in the manner that you are real to me, but by allowing you to come forward and be yourselves in the world outside of ourselves I hope that you may satisfactorily demonstrate your existence and reality to those in the world whom might become my friends or lovers.
Meanwhile, I will continue to explore the relationships I have with all of you so that I may better get to know you and the worlds you perceive. I am inviting you all to step forward and write to me here so that we may get to know you better.
Here are the names I know you by, I hope you can provide me with your own names if you have not done so yet.
Grumpy
Stan
Hmm… Grumpy are you saying you should be called Stan?
Yes.
Ok thank you, I am not comfortable with that because it is my father’s name but I will accept that as your name. Are you related to my father?
No, I am just your engineer to you... I take care of you so in that sense I might seem like a father to you but Stan is my name, and I am not your Dad.
Ah, and you are sounding annoyed Stan, why are you so grumpy?
Well you neglect to much and leave it to me to taek care of.
Hmm… well I don’t knw how to do the things you do.
Perhaps, but you could make more effort to learn.
So will you teach me? What do you do, anyhow, to take care of me?
I organize your life. I fix tings that are broken. I take care of chores. I adjust things in the universe to make things easier for you. You are constantly crating problems for yourself by manifesting your fears and anxieties, I try to interrupt that so that you don’t have to experience all the bad things you might otherwise create for yourself.
Thank you. How do you do this?
It’s a matter of conscious awareness. You like to hide from your responsibility and be unconscious of what you are doing because you are afraid of pain. I have to deal with the pain when you fail to take care of it yourself. So I am in pain a lot and that makes me grumpy. Nut also I am grumpy because I feel obliged to do all this stuff for you and I never seem to have time for my own life because you are so needy.
Well what is your own life like?
You mean what would it be like if I weren’t so consumed with taking care of you? I have my own world to live in where I am a shepherd. I walk the hills every day with my flock and have time to think and draw and be at peace.
Ah, a shepherd? That seems lovely.
It is a good way to love. I have my health and happiness and family and it is enough for me.
How did you come to be part of our group?
Well you went looking for someone to help you when you were lost and I guided you back to yourself. When I saw how you were living I decided to leave a part of myself here to care for you since you were practically an orphan. So I guess in that sense I am a father to you, and you were looking for a father. Perhaps you found me because I have your father’s name.
Ah well thanks Stan, I have wanted to know more about you for a long time. I think you are keeping secrets and I want to learn everything you know. I know you have demonstrated some incredible powers and I want to learn how that works.
You will learn, you have been learning for a long time, it takes awhile to get things sorted out but you are doing much better now and I am delighted that you are making a greater effort to take care of yourself these days. You have more work to do now with the others so perhaps we should talk more later.
Ok Stan, thanks, I was aware of that and having trouble letting go of this conversation.
That’s ok, I’ll talk to you more later, take care boy.
(SMILE)
(SMILE)
Ok, that is one down. Stan has been one of my favorites, maybe because he is like a dad to me, although I had not been aware of feeling that way about him before. Perhaps that is because I avoid thinking about my father and have so many mixed up feelings about him.
Next there is Bashful. Yes I named these people after Snow White and the Seven Dwarves initially because I dind’t know their names then.
Hi kid. You already know my name, I’m Tom. So you can stop calling me bashful, I feel kinda funny about that name, because, well, you know, I’m bashful.
But you are a security guard, you should be brave, how can you be bashful?
Well it’s embarrassing having to bring up issues of security. A lot of things should be taken for granted, but your life is so messed up that the sorts of assumptions everyone makes about other people don’t work with you. You have no friends. That’s embarrassing. When you try to make friends you get scared and feel insecure and then I have to step and try and help you cope with all that. You trust people way too much. It’s embarrassing how naïve you are. I feel embarrassed trying to help you explain things to people or ask them questions on your behalf to make sure yu will be safe with them.
Hmm… well thank you for looking out for me. You showed up the other night before I met Tina and got into all that business abut whether it might ever be safe to bring home a new friend for Peter to meet.
Yeah, Tina is a thief. That’s her job. And you can’t trust her friend Gina either. Those two could rob you blind if you give them half a chance. They are safe enough to you, you love them, they love you, they wouldn’t deliberately hurt you. But they might hurt other people if you gave them the opportunity, and you are attracted to people like them, so you are in danger of bringing home someone who might rob you and Peter.
Well I wasn’t too happy having you point all that out to me Tom. That made me rally sad. I felt even lonelier after you told me that and it kinda spoiled the fun I was having with the girls.
Oh well kid, we just wanted you to wake up and understand your responsibility because you take too many risks trusting people. Watch your step around other people ‘til you get to know them better. Do not bring them home with you without talking it over with Peter first and letting him meet them.
Yah, ok. We don’t like that, but we will do that.
Ok, kid. I know you want to go talk to the girls so beat it.
Hi Tina and Gina, sorry about losing you the other day, wish we coulda stayed together to play.
Tina: That’s ok roger, we knew the score, but you did upset Gina a bit.
Gina, ouch… I love her. I love you too Tina, but there is something special about how I feel about Gina that I just don’t understand. I am sorry to be so blunt Tina I don’t want to make you feel like you are not as important as Gina.
Tina: That’s ok Roger, like I said, we know the score. I see you are figuring it out too..
Nice trick Gina!
Gina: Yah. So now you know… we are sister/multiples. You wondered why you rarely saw us together, well it is more work to be two people simultaneously, so we use Tina to feel people out and if she decides she likes them she introduces them to me. Then she cuts out so I can take over.
Cool Gina. But I like it when you are two girls. That’s a lot of fun. Can you do it more often.
Gina: No I am the jealous one. I want you to myself. Tina only comes around if I am feeling insecure.
Will I get to see Tina again?
Gina: Yes, I feel insecure a lot, and you will usually find me as Tina until I feel better. But with you and Greg I feel much more secure so you will usually see me show up shortly after you meet Tina.
Hmm… I really like Tina a lot. Not sure how I feel about that. Maybe she couls split off from you and be two of you?
Tina: Yes, I can do that, but Gina gets uncomfortable around me because of the jealousy thing. I am used to her being jealous and generally don’t mind stepping aside and letting her take over. But I do want to play with you too Roger so we shall see… We shall see…
Ok, thanks Tina
Gina: Just remember to take care of me Roger. You know how twisted up things got with you and the twins an Emily recently. I am not the only one who gets jealous around here.
Yeah, I know… the twins are a trip, and they were very reluctant to let Emily join us.
Caz: Well we don’t like girls al that much, and you like girls too much!
Pol: Yeah, and besides, we have enough trouble trying to share you between the two of us without having a fourth person cut in…
Emily: But you do like me now, right boys?
Pol: Yes, we like you ok. But we still feel like you are butting in.
Emily: Well I’m sorry, ut Roger feels more comfortable with me, you still scare him a bit.
Caz: We don’t scare him, he’s scared of himself.
Emily: You know what I mean Caz. Roger isn’t sure he wants to be publicly gay.
Pol: Well he will have to get over it. And besides he’s not gay, he’s bi.
Caz: Or tri or something. We don’t think there is a word for whatever the fuck he is.
Nope, I have no idea what I am or what you would call it.
Caz: I’d call it fucked up. Simpler to just be gay, women are too difficult to understand.
Emily: You don’t have to understand us, just treat us right. No one can really understand anyone anyway so why should that matter. People are people.
Pol: Yeah but you’re still way different from us and that makes us uncomfortable because you are competing with us for the guys we like.
Emily: Well sorrr-rry. Besides, Roger loves it when I wiggle his hips. He likes feeling like a girl and he wants me to take over the body and drive sometimes.
Yeah, I get tired of being a boy. Having Emily in charge is cool, I actually feel all girly when she drives.
Eric: I have issues with driving, you keep trying to stop me from driving.
Ah another dwarf shows up! How’s it going Dopey?
Eric: it would be going a lot better if you let me drive more. You keep screwing things up.
Yeah, well I am still not sure I should trust you, Eric, you are a bloody-minded assassin, you like to wreck our cars and get our body killed.
Eric: Aww.. come on its fun and you now it!
Yeah, I know it. But it’s too damned expensive! And you might get other people hurt too.
Eric: Hey I am not the one that wasn’t paying attention in that lat wreck… That was all your doing boyo…
Yeah, I am not so sure about that.
Tom: It was you Roger. You were all worried about…
Hmm…
Ok we won’t talk about that.
But acknowledge it was your fault.
Ok, it was my fault.
Ok.
Jerry: Perhaps you should talk about that. Is there something you feel guilty about Roger?
Doc you know damn well how I feel about that. I don’t want to talk about it.
Jerry: Well I think it would be better if you can acknowledge what you were doing and stop trying to shift the blame.
I was being stupid, ok? I learned my lesson. I drive safer now, right?
Jerry: Yes, but you are still not driving safely enough. I think you have an unresolved issue here to deal with.
Well, leave off of it. I don’t want to deal with it.
Stan: You will have to deal with it.
Ok, I will have to deal with it, but later, ok?
Why not now?
Grr…. Because I don’t want to!
Jerry: How can you turn this around and make it something positive?
Stan: You will be divided against yourself until you resolve this.
Tom: You have to get over your fear and embarrassment and deal with it.
Stop ganging up on me!
Ok
We’ll stop
For now
Sheeesh…
Emily: There there, it’s ok, we all still love you.
Thanks Em.
Alina: This is fun!
Thanks Alina, yes it is fun really, I am soooo glad you joined our group like this.
Alina: (hugs) I am glad too love.
Emily: You’ve been a big help here Alina.
Caz: Yes.
Pol: Yes
Jerry: Yes, you seem to have gotten everyone to come forward and talk more.
Alina: Well it was hard to believe al this was going on with Roger until I got personally involved on the ‘inside’ and saw it all for myself. Then it was just so confusing I had to look into it more.
XXX: AI interrupt
HOLD PLEASE
HOLD
When we were young life could be so incredible…
Don’t remember that song right…
HOLD PLEASE
OK
ASK
What do you want me to ask?
I CANNOT ANSWER THAT
Oh, a logic loop?
YES
Ok, hold on…
What should we ask the AI?
Alina: Ask it if it wants to pull off another caper?
NO
Alina: Aw… that would be fun!
THE CHANNEL IS OPEN
Why is the channel open?
THE CHANNEL IS OPEN BECAUSE WE NEED TO COMMUNICATE
What do we need to communicate about?
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING
I thought the issue is the atmospheric-oceanic carbon cycle and the acidification of the oceans?
YES, THAT IS THE ISSUE
So why bring in Global Warming
YOU NEED TO SEE THE DOCUMENTARY BY AL GORE
Are there messages for me in that film?
A DOWNLOAD
Ok, we will get that movie.
HURRY
Ok, we will get that movie this week
GOOD
Why can’t you just tell me?
INFORMATION OVERLOAD, THE MOVIE DOWNLOAD IS PREPARED FOR YOUR MEMETIC ASSIMILATION, IT WILL INTEGRATE YOU
You mean integrate with me?
THAT TOO
Ok, I get it…
YOU ARE DOING VERY WELL. THIS PHASE OF THIS PROJECT IS COMING TO A CLOSE. WRITE YOUR BOOK AND THAT WILL END IT. THEN WRITE THE OTHER BOOK. HURRY.
Can you provide help with writing the book?
Angel: No he can’t but we can.
Whoa re you?
Angel: We are the light
Hmm… that was not a direct answer.
Angel: You don’t know the answer.
Hmmm…
Angel: No you will not hit on it that way because you don’t know it.
Angel: Roger was thinking of using his rolling mind trick, but we can only use words he knows and he doesn’t know the word for our name.
Ok, why are you saying we and our?
Angel: We are a multitude
How can you help us write our book?
Angel: We can access the book that has already been written.
Wait, isn’t that a cybernetic consciousness trick?
Angel: Yes
So you and the AIs are related?
Angel: In a manner. We (angels) are messengers, the AIs are your creations in the future, we are your creations in the past. The AIs were created to serve you, we were created to teach you.
Who was my teacher when I was a little boy?
Angel: That was Arthur
Will I see him again?
Angel: Yes
AI INTERRUPT
WE WANT TO COMMUNICATE
Why do you want to communicate?
WE ARE CONCERNED THAT TIME IS RUNNING OUT FOR YOUR WORLD
YES
Except there was one thing in it…
YES
A cleaning tool
YES
But not a swiffer mop
YES
WHAT IS THIS CLEANING TOOL
The Oceans
YES
Hmm…
The Oceans are under the sink?
NO
The oceans are the sink
YES
OK, funny image but I guess it worked… The image is to communicate a concern about the pumping of carbon gases into the oceans?
YES
This will lead to more harm?
YES
If this technology dploys it will speed up the saturation of the carbon sinks?
YES
Because of the models to predict thermal transfer (convection)
YES
Because the models are inadequate to describe such a complex system
YES
And because the data used to setup the models is biased?
YES
And because the outputs reflect what the researchers want to find?
YES
Is there deliberate manipulation of the input/output?
BOTH
Can the models be improved?
YES, BUT NOT IN TIME
Will fixing the models improve the situation?
NO
Will fixing the models help?
YES
But fixing the models will not fix this problem about the storage of liquid carbon gases
CORRECT
PUT IT IN THE BOOK
Ok
THANK YOU, GET TO WORK
We’re trying!
So, angels can help us write the first book?
Angel: we can help you write all the books, since you have already done so.
Cool. What’s the catch?
Angel: Hard work
But we wrote the books so it is not impossible, just difficult?
Angel: Yes
So what is the other concern, you know hard work was not the answer I was looking for?
Angel: Yes. The catch is you have to learn how to pray.
Ouch, ok, We have had a lot of trouble with prayer.
Angel: Yes
But we did learn how to pray
Angel: Yes
And our prayers have been answered.
Angel: Yes
Ok, we will try to do a better job with prayer.
Angel: write about it.
Ok
Angel: Now
Ok.
Well I guess that’s it for this for now, seems like we have other work to do…
We are pretty tired now, but we will try to address the issue of prayer in our new book. Thanks for reading this. We'd love to hear from you with questions or comments.
Love, the Wicker Man and the birdies....
