Moving on...

Dear friends,

Our blog has migrated again...

Please visit our aging blog on Temple Illuminatus,

or visit our blog on our new website:

This is our new site for Happy Face Coins :)

love, the Grigs,

aka Grigori Rho Gharveyn, Greg Gourdian, etc, et al...

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Our Future History, How the Earth Made Peace



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Thursday, January 01, 2009

Our Prayers Are Answered

Dinna think we ever would say that, and yet we have been saying it now, little by little, more and more, now, for the past two years or a bit more...

Yes our prayers are answered.

Specifically, we were lonely and praying to manifest a new lover, a special friend that would help us with many things that we neglect to do to take care of ourselves, things we know we should do but which we balk at for whatever reasons. We were hoping for someone who could be independent and not demand more than the little time we felt we could spare. Yet this new person was someone we were counting on to rescue us from ourselves, from the prison we habitually isolate ourselves within, shunning the outside world.
A tough list of requisites, and the list grows...
We wanted someone who could work with our multiple group, accept us for whom we perceive ourselves to be, not a mindless, sycophantic crutch, but someone capable of working within our ever-changing, evolving contextual labyrinths.
We wanted a lover who could work with our alternate selves and their various needs, an enthusiastic, aggressive partner in love.
We wanted a partner who could work with our energy, see it, share it, transmute it with us...
We got all of these and more...
We were aware of the universe test-fitting us for a new lover. We were presented with many potential partners who were attractive, and who appeared attracted to us, as well. They are all wonderful people who each had their various virtues and flaws; as eager as we were, we had to kick back a bit and let things develop, things were getting better and better all the time...
Then we met our new friend, and life has never been better.
Thank you!

Much Love, Gharveyn...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Graduation & Other News

Dear friends, those we've met and those we've yet to meet...

We received notice of our graduation from spirit guide school. along with a white feather to commemorate the occasion. We are now a full-fledged spirit guide in our own right. (Some of you may remember one of our spirit guides, White Feather. )

We have been operating a sort of impromptu street clinic for people in crisis following spiritual awakenings and it's been going very well.

We are currently in Philadelphia visiting family and trying to look up old friends.

We have reliably accessed the metaprogramming circuit level of consiousness described by Timothy Leary three times in the past 2 months, and we are eager to continue working in that vein as it correlates with the throat chakra and the potential to completely heal ourselves of our various organic/emotional/psychological issues.

We are meeting lots of new people every day, and we now may have one or more lovers waiting for us in San Francisco when we get home. These are monumental changes in our lives.

Greg is beginning to improve and we hope to have his help with our writing work again very soon, as we are getting antsy to continue our novel regarding AD 2076, and our story "Vampire Therapy".

We will be taking down the message board notice above asap, as that idea didn't pan out so well. That may take awhile as our PC is currently offline with a crashed hard drive, and we are using library PCs and friends' PCs for the moment.

We have recently observed that the internal links on this blog are working even more poorly than before. we will try to get that fixed asap as well.

We love you all and are looking forward to hearing from you soon, but please understand if our replies are delayed by our diminshed PC access at this time.

Love, Gharveyn

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

About Belief Systems

Our belief systems enable us to function in the social and natural worlds, and yet, our belief systems may also be a trap, a self-limiting system of ideas. The deconstructionist movement has tried to break down belief systems in an effort to discover what it means to be truly free, yet our minds may be incapable of liberating us from the intricate webs of beliefs within which we have ensnared ourselves.

About Belief Systems

It seems as if everyone must have a belief system. Believing we do not have a belief system may simply be another belief system. Belief systems are extraordinarily complex; they are designed to help us explain to ourselves how the world around us works.

Our belief systems help us to anticipate what may happen next, to be prepared for life’s everyday experiences. They provide a cushion and a refuge against trauma and disease.

Given all the benefits of possessing a belief system many people may wonder why anyone would want to challenge their own belief systems. Challenging our conventional belief systems makes us outcasts, renegades. When we challenge our belief systems we are challenging our family, friends, cultures and societies, all of which have extremely powerful defense mechanisms established to protect their cherished belief systems.

As individuals we often cling to our belief systems with a terrible passion, we are too often afraid to challenge them, afraid to learn what may lie beyond the narrow scope of our current comprehension of the worlds we live in. We defend our belief systems vehemently because we depend upon our beliefs for our sense of security.

Since most of our belief systems are composed of elements adopted from our families, friends, societies and cultures, our reflexive defenses of our personal belief systems also act as defense mechanisms to protect our social and cultural belief systems. We act like antibodies in an immune system, protecting our social and cultural belief systems from any perceived threat or challenge.

Our societies and cultures typically teach us how to defend our belief systems, we are often taught to defend our beliefs with brutality. Our capacities to defend our personal, societal and cultural belief systems logically through discourse, dialogue and debate may be severely limited by the willingness of our adversaries to listen to our arguments.

One of the key defense mechanisms of most belief systems is a deliberately indoctrinated, often willful ignorance.

When we are defending our belief systems we too often choose to disregard anything that we do not recognize as a part of our beliefs. This helps us to avoid thinking about the merits of our opponents’ arguments; if we never even consider their arguments then our beliefs may be safe from challenge or change.

When we cannot ignore serious challenges to our precious belief systems we escalate our defenses and may impose sanctions to limit the efforts of our antagonists to educate us regarding their beliefs. Sanctions typically deprive our opponents of something critical, such as commerce, education, access to health care, and even such basic necessities as food or shelter. We do everything in our power to cripple the people who challenge our beliefs; we try to disable them in order to prevent them from having the strength and resources to continue to challenge our beliefs.

Ostracization is one of the most terrible forms of sanctions imposed upon people who challenge our beliefs. The company of our families, friends and societies is an essential part of most people’s lives. Those who seriously challenge the beliefs of their own societies and cultures are often ostracized, excluded from their societies in order to protect their societies from further challenge.

Ostracization has three basic forms, in the gentlest form we simply ignore anyone who has been ostracized. We allow them no opportunity to interact with us by refusing to respond to them, by treating them as if they simply do not exist. Homeless people are treated this way every day.

In the intermediate level of ostracization we imprison or expel those people whom we deem to be too dangerous to our social or cultural beliefs, particularly with regard to our political or religious beliefs. We may deport them, send them to prisons, or lock them away in mental hospitals; we may even lock up their minds with chemicals.

Alcoholism and other debilitating forms of substance abuse cripple potential revolutionaries who might otherwise seriously challenge our social and cultural institutions. The prevalence of theses substances in our societies helps ensure that many disenfranchised persons eager to challenge our societies’ beliefs will disable themselves by their own inadvertent choice, a neat, convenient, economical solution.

The most extreme form of ostracization is execution. Those persons who represent the greatest threat to our social and cultural stability are simply murdered.

Who is being ostracized today? Who is in prison or locked away in mental wards? Who have we medicated into abject submission? Who have we killed?

All societies seem to employ sanctions such as these in their self-defense.

Our belief systems may be our most precious possessions. People will choose to die for what they believe in. People will accept imprisonment or torture rather than give up their beliefs.

And yet, our belief systems have absolutely no validity, they are unreal.

It appears to be impossible to validate any belief systems.

Philosophers agree that all of what we perceive may only be illusions. There is no way to prove we are not simply dreaming all of our experiences. There is no way to prove that any of our experiences are real, therefore there are no valid, external contexts through which we can validate our personal or societal beliefs.

The best we can do is to have faith in our beliefs, whatever our beliefs may be.

Scientific rationalism is just another belief system that cannot prove it references an objective external reality. Even though scientific rationalism became popular because it was perceived as a means of escaping from the infirm ground of religious faiths, scientific rationalism cannot prove, with all its precise measurements and data, that any part of its own system of beliefs is real or valid.

While science allows us to more accurately describe the mechanics of the worlds we live in, science cannot prove these worlds are real.

We are stuck with having to have faith in science.

But what really happens if we allow our belief systems to be challenged?

Do we really need to defend our beliefs so vehemently?

In the deconstructionist movement philosophers are exploring tearing down all of our belief systems in an attempt to reduce everything to a common ground free of misconceptions and self-serving systems of belief. But those belief systems which may appear to be valid or useful to us must also be challenged and torn down, because all belief systems may be invalid, they are products of thousands of years of evolution, and mistakes creep in which appear to be self-evident truths, such as the earth is flat, or that the sun revolves around the earth.

There may be no belief systems which are valid or incorrupt.

When mystics tell us to live in the present moment, to live in the now, they are advising us to abandon our beliefs. All belief systems incorporate concepts or ideas about the worlds we experience. All conceptual systems are inherently unreal because they exist only in our minds; they consist of codifications of our past experiences, references to realities which cannot even be proven to exist.

We cannot be living in the present moment if we are living in our ideas about the present moment. Our belief systems always keep us at least one step removed from the present; they are a sort of dissociative mechanism because there is a break between what is still considered to be ‘objective reality’ and the mental worlds we inhabit through our belief systems’ conceptual and perceptual filters.

There appears to be no concrete, objective reality whatsoever.

This is one of the hardest ‘truths’ for anyone to seriously consider. All of what we consider to be objective reality may be illusionary. Our belief systems, with no objective reality to anchor them, can only be taken on faith. Even though most people will assume their personal beliefs are valid and based on a quantifiable, definable, external reality, it would appear that all belief systems are entirely subjective; they may be completely personal to each individual.

This is why collective cultural and societal belief systems are so popular. When a large group of people agree on a common set of beliefs they appear to validate one another and lend strength to the illusion that their beliefs are real or true. Culturally institutionalized belief systems provide most members of their societies and cultures with a sense of stability and security, a firm ground upon which to stand.

When we abandon or attack the illusionary firm ground of our cultural and societal belief systems we risk losing everything we possess. We risk the loss of our social networks and all of their support. We risk losing our illusions of an objective reality. With these losses we lose any context with which to support our personal beliefs.

Reality is then up for grabs.

The best we can possibly do in these circumstances is to have faith in ourselves, while allowing others the liberty of their own beliefs without allowing ourselves to feel threatened.

When we codify our own beliefs and try to impose them on others we seem to inevitably encounter conflict. When we impose our beliefs on others we risk becoming people who act with ignorance, hatred or cruelty.

Our belief systems are indefensible, they therefore require no defenses.

When we can relax our feverishly slippery hold upon our own beliefs we can be at peace with everyone around us because we need no longer feel threatened by anyone whose views are different from our own.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Recent Events

Mmm... yes we've been away for a long time again... Not to worry though, we are feeling pretty good at them moment in spite of the usual problems.

For those who don't know, we have been a chronic depressive with lots of suicidal ideation in the past but are working hard at recovering from that. Drugs don't help with the depression or our pain so we mostly do it the hard way, by deep analysis of our behavior and the motivations underlying it.

What we have learned over the years has been augmented and reinforced on this last trip into our depression. Nothing too special, clinically, just serious issues with intimacy. We have non-consciously alienated pretty much everyone who loves us in the past but are getting a grip on how and why we do that.

It's a defense mechanism.

As is typical of such defense mechanisms, we have outgrown the need to be afraid of the people who love us, but the automatic responses to defend ourselves by driving away the people who love us or abandoning them still kicks in. It makes us seem pretty stupid at times, we fail to respond to people appropriately or appear to live in a world of our own (which we do).

Nonetheless, we are working hard to fix this and appreciate your help and understanding. If we have upset you in any way please talk to us about it as we most likely had no conscious intention of doing so. It may have been a simple misunderstanding but too often it is our defensiveness trying to drive away people we love who also love us.

If you are one of our old friends from a BBS or Spirit chat room who has not seen or heard from us in a long time, we are sorry to seem to have abandoned you.

We remain in terrible pain all the time; the worst part of that pain is emotional, our loneliness.

We get overwhelmed in chat sites and eventually retire from them as we become more depressed by being in contact with people, particularly the people we love most. It may seem a bit odd, but the more we are involved with people we love the worse our feelings of emotional pain and isolation become.

That is part of what we need to change about ourselves. We need to learn to allow people to love us without driving them off or running away.

We won't make any commitments to return to chat sites, as they consume too much precious time, however we will try to stay in touch with email and IMs when we hear from you, and you are welcome to contact us anytime.

We do love you all, and we hope to become better friends with every one of you.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007



We’ve only just met, and we may feel kinda forced together by default, as the only two people left alone in the crowd… But perhaps it’s kismet, fate, or our destiny to have met this way…

It’s no accident we do not seem to belong with anyone here. It’s not an accident that we were alone before meeting you.

Aaarghh… We are off on the wrong foot, we hate it when our thoughts have all run astray and we can’t reproduce the gems we experience away from our keyboard…. We were just lying in bed and talking to someone in our head, soeone we met in a nightclub or café or something… and we got to rambling on about things… important things about who we are and how we operate, trying to explain ourselves to someone we’ve only just met. We hit on several really good points about various aspects of our lives, ourselves; things we wanted to remember, now they are gone… That is so>>> frustrating!

We want to explain how we experience ourselves and other people. We have feelings of other people’s pain or pleasure or joy which we empathically pick up on that make us feel like a voyeur; we are aware of our own pain and how that must feel to other people; these feelings drive our urgent need to run away from people or to drive other people away from us….

We want to explain how we feel about ourselves, how sometimes we feel like a woman, and sometimes we feel like a man. We are mostly unaware of any clear or simple gender identity at all.

Sometimes we may feel a black person, or a Hispanic person, or an Asian person, or a Native American person, or an Indian person, but mostly we are aware of being a white person, or a Caucasian person, if you prefer; but we are mostly unaware of having any racial identity at all.

Sometimes we feel old, mostly we feel young, any true sense of our age identity is another element of our being we are scarcely aware of at all…

We have no tangible or definite identity that we can feel and say, “This is me”.

Some people may want to put us in a neat box; we are aware that we appear to present a consistent identity to other people when we speak with them, we feel that other people rarely see beyond the surface to all of our myriad different interiors… We know that we are partly responsible for maintaining an illusion of consistency and wholeness, an appearance of having an identity, but we also know that other people assist us in performing the social gymnastics that create this illusion of ourselves as single person out of all of the experiences of ourselves which we co-create with them.

We know we trigger the flight or fight responses in most of the people we meet.

We know it’s natural for people to want to reject us or run away from us because we present ourselves as a person so alien from what they are accustomed to experiencing that their root programming kicks in and urges them to distance themselves from us by any means possible.

We want to run away from people all the time, it’s hard for us to remain among other people, it’s a conscious choice we have to make and re-make all of the time; the choice to try to participate with other people socially rather than run away, the choice not to attack everyone and drive them all away from us.

These are human urges, these ‘flight or fight’ responses, but sometimes we do not feel human at all. We feel we can change our body parts, put on different arms or legs or sexual organs.

We often feel like we are a machine of some sort, and that it’s natural to be able to change our body configuration by putting on new parts.

Sometimes we feel we are a dragon, or a black jaguar, or a wolf howling in the night…

Sometimes we feel like we have a million arms, perhaps because we want to reach out in so many different directions all at once… Sometimes we feel as if we have no arms at all because we have no one to hold, and what use are arms that can hold no one?

We are in constant pain due to our loneliness, but we are in constant physical pain as well.

The pain in our body is immense at times; often it is more than we know how to cope with without completely shutting down, so not wanting to have a body at all is often very attractive.

Couple our physical pain with the pain of our loneliness and we most often just want to die, so sometimes we choose to kill ourselves.

Dying is one of our favorite experiences, particularly the joyful, loving part that comes after we have died; but this is also the part that causes us to change our minds and choose to allow ourselves to return to an iteration of this incarnation and continue living here once more…

After we die we can finally feel the love of our family and friends, the love of the people who now mourn for us and beg us to return to them once more. After we have died we are healed of all of our hurts and pains; we no longer feel alienated or isolated after we have died.

We feel good after we have died; except for the pain we have caused our family and friends by dying; that pain feels both good and bad. It feels good because after we have died we finally feel our connectedness to other people, but we feel bad after we have died because we are aware of how we have hurt the people who love us by killing ourselves.

So we always return from our death holidays and once more resurrect ourselves in an iteration of this incarnation and choose to go on living again, in spite of the pain. As we slip back into a fleshy garment of mortality we tend to forget our death experiences, we forget who we really are, we resume this incarnation’s experiences of feeling so deeply alienated and lonely that we just want to die.

All of our old pains and torments return when we return to this incarnation…

But we have now died so many times that our capacity to forget our death experiences has been overwhelmed; we can remember some of our deaths and some of the joyful experiences that have followed our deaths, we remember what is what is like after we have died, and how wonderful we felt before choosing to resume this life once more.

Unfortunately, death is not an all-paid holiday. It seems we must pay for each time we die.

We tend to lose everything we have, including family and friends… We seem to often wind up homeless with little more than the clothes on our back. Perhaps this is how the colloquialism “You can’t take it with you” really evolved… It seems as if there is so much to be lost… our artwork, our writings, our loved ones, our stuffed animals and other toys. We have gotten so tired of finding ourselves stripped down to nearly nothing. So we mostly fight the urge to kill ourselves, yet often, in the end, it seems we must die anyway.

Sometimes we see it as our responsibility to other people to choose to live, to avoid causing them to suffer when we die. We know we have left myriad worlds unpopulated by ourselves where we have died, and that the people remaining in those worlds who were our friends or family still mourn for us and miss us and wish we had not died…

So we choose to go on living in spite of how much we feel we just want to die.

Do we create those worlds in which we are dead when we choose to kill ourselves, or do those worlds already exist, and we have only migrated our consciousness into one of them in order to experience our death again? We used to believe we were creating those worlds and that because we were creating worlds in which we hurt people by killing ourselves that we should stop killing ourselves in order to cease hurting so many people.

Perhaps now we believe those worlds have always existed and that we could not prevent those worlds from existing. We are aware of those other worlds in which we chose to die; those worlds still exist now, even though we are living here in this world.

We cannot un-make the worlds in which we are dead. So if those worlds where we are dead have always been there and could not be unmade by our choice to live rather than to die, then what harm is there in killing ourselves once more? We are not really creating more suffering for our family or friends by choosing to experience our death once more, those people who are our family and friends and who suffer when we have died will suffer anyway.

This means it is really not for others that we need to choose whether we will live or die; it is really for ourselves that we must choose to live or to die.

We may not like it that we feel as if we may have caused others to suffer on our behalf by dying. We may feel as if we are obliged to live on behalf of our family and friends, but that is an illusion. Our choice to experience our death is not the actual cause of their suffering. Our deaths are as inevitable as our lives, a part of all that is, a part of creation that is neither made nor unmade by our choices.

We can choose to experience our death without creating our death. Our death has already been created and we are simply choosing to experience our death once more.

So perhaps there is no moral reason to choose to live. Perhaps it is not immoral to choose to die. There do appear to have been consequences when we have chosen to die in the past, and perhaps those apparent consequences will continue to appear to manifest. We may still lose all that we own when we return to this life, we may still break our relationships with people we love in ways that may never heal if we choose to experience our death and then return to an iteration of this life again, but perhaps there is no genuine moral weight or consequences that result when we choose to experience our death.

There appears to be no judgment made against us when we die. When we have died we are received in joy and love by everyone we know. We feel loved and whole and happy. We are free of the physical and emotional torments we experienced in this life. These seem to us like very good reasons to choose to experience our death.

Losing our worldly possessions and losing our tormented relationships with people we love seems a small price to pay in exchange for so much pleasure and joy.

Yet we still allow ourselves to be cajoled into returning to life. We permit ourselves to return to this painful incarnation. We choose to return. Why? Why choose to live in pain this way?

We have sometimes explained it as a moral responsibility to choose to live this life. We have sometimes explained it as a contractual responsibility to continue to live in this incarnation, but these are passive reasons; what is the active reason underlying these passive explanations?

Why do we really choose to live?

Perhaps it is for the joy of meeting someone new. Perhaps we choose to live for the unknown possibilities that cannot be experienced in any other manner. Perhaps we choose to live simply because we want to live, in spite of all the pain and suffering we experience.

We don’t know.

But we are
so>>> tired of this life again; so tired of our pain; so tired of our loneliness.

We know we have created our life to be this way, and yet we cannot understand what purpose we could possibly have for causing ourselves so much pain. Yet we do know that we have done this to ourselves, that we are the cause of our all of our pain, so we presume we must have had some purpose.

So here we are.

We know we will be here at some time in the future, saying these strange sorts of things, trying to explain what our life is like to you. We know we are programmed to try to drive you away from us if we have successfully denied all of our instinctive urges to run away from you.

We are afraid of the pain we will experience by meeting you, but we are here anyway. We are sad about the pain we may seem to cause you to experience, but we are here anyway.

Perhaps we can learn some other way to be, a way of being that does not require us to run away from you, a way of being which does not require us to drive you away from us.

We don’t know.

We are only testing the waters here. We know that somewhere along the way we will meet you and you will choose not to run away when we hurt you. You will choose not to drive us away from you in response to the pain you experience with us. Your choices will reflect our own choices in this manner, and then we may become friends or lovers.

We know many people have loved us in the past. We are often very sad that we have very rarely ever felt loved by them, but we remember we have experienced their efforts to love us.

We are often sad that we have most often never felt a part of our circles of family and friends, but we remember we have sometimes experienced the intentions of our family and friends to include us among them.

We wonder if it is like this for our family and friends as well. Do our friends or family only know we love them or have they genuinely felt our love? Do our family and friends feel included in our life, or do they only feel that we sometimes tolerate their presence?

We don’t know.

Perhaps it is a mélange and includes a bit of all of it…

There are so many different worlds, worlds of experiences that differ by tiny faint degrees. So yes, all of it is real, the tolerance and the inclusion, the love and the effort, and somewhere there are worlds where love is experienced universally, where inclusion is always experienced; and where our sense of isolation and despair seem never to have existed.

These are the worlds we can still hope to find among all of the myriad worlds we have known, wonderful worlds that include you in our love.


Friday, November 02, 2007

Lone Eternity (perfomring arts song)

Click HERE to listen to our best performing arts piece titled: Lone Eternity

Click HERE to see this song's lyrics posted earlier on our blog...

A new recording will be made and uploaded asap, we were sitting for this recording so the breathing was poor...

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Blog: Guided - Meeting Scott and Cody

Sometimes we are guided. When our friend David mentioned the lunar eclipse Monday evening we almost blew it off, having little faith it would be visible in San Francisco. But we felt something tugging at us to go to the beach and observe so we departed shortly before midnight…

Guided - Meeting Scott and Cody

We had a cool time when we went to the beach to see the lunar eclipse spanning Monday night and early Tuesday morning (Aug 24th 2007)...

We felt guided as we drove there, guided even in the intent to go there, it was a somewhat mystical drive getting there through the fog which took us over a big hill. We realized we probably would not get to see the eclipse as we were setting out, in spite of a popular rumor that the fog would clear away in time to see it… and indeed the sky remained too overcast to see anything beyond the clouds.

However, we met some lovely people who had also come to the beach for a chance to see the eclipse. There are fires nearly every night on the beach and three fires were burning when we finally arrived there.

We met some people at the head of one of the many sets of steps that go down through the tide wall that protects the city from erosion, particularly in heavy storms. One was named Cody, we lost the name of the other a nice fellow with pale blond hair who was playing music in his pocket just loud enough to share with anyone standing close by.

Cody had painted his face red with black markings above the left eye and below the right eye.

We shared our American Spirit tobacco with Cody and rolled one for ourselves as we'd been told we should have a full-moon smoke and eclipses are full-moon events. We took a couple or 3 puffs as we chatted with these two fellows. A bit of a commotion broke out down at the foot of the stairs where perhaps 4-5 more people were hanging out... One fellow marched off shouting and upset, he was headed off at an angle to the northwest toward a point where someone appeared to be lighting a new fire...

A bit later we said farewells and carried on along the wall to the stairs opposite the nearest fire.

At the first fire we met 4 girls, one was celebrating her Birthday. Was her name Angelica? Drat, we are just soooo bad with remembering names, we definitely wanted to remember her though…. One of the girls had fallen in the surf and was feeling too cold. The conversation here was quiet and mostly personal to their tiny group and we eventually moved on...

At the southern most fire we were greeted warmly by a group of people who were just leaving. One young man there was celebrating his birthday. We met a fellow there called Buster and the departing partiers loaded him down with food, water and a beer as they made farewells with hugs all around.

The girls were gone when we stopped with Buster by their fire to let Buster roll a smoke with our tobacco... We took a few puffs off our known ciggy then, as we had saved it after taking 2-3 puffs on it earlier…

There was one beer among the supplies that Buster had some trouble opening; we found a slot in one of the steel walls of the fire pit that served well as a bottle opener. This fire pit was shaped like a huge steel flower with ornamental slots cut in the petals in the shapes of stamen.

While we were smoking a woman came up, she had immigrated to the US 30 yrs ago from Slovakia. She was there with her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend that were off enjoying the darkness by the surf... As we chatted three of the four girls returned and we stood together making introductions and so forth... one of the gals was putting out some pretty dismal statements so we tried to counsel her a bit on improving her outlook; her friend with the birthday that night chimed in with us and the discussion turned to the importance of having a good attitude to teach children when raising kids...

The Slovakian woman's daughter and boyfriend arrived and then departed again. The girls took photos including a group photo of the birthday girl with us, the Slovakian woman and Buster hugging... We left Buster and the Slovakian woman at the fire after the three girls departed in order to explore the new fire that had been started up further south.

We passed two unused fire pits like big steel cauldrons along the way.

At the next fire we met up with the kidz from the stairs… We later learned that the kidz call each other kids regardless of age; these were all youths, perhaps late teens up to nearly 30. They were smoking and drinking and talking and tending large stones in their fire which they were heating for a sweat lodge they had erected a bit south of their fire.

Buster donated the proceeds from the fire farthest north to the group and laid out many bags of snacks, and a 2 gallon jerry of water. One of the fellows came around to where we had been standing with Buster to the NW of the fire as soon as left to take an interest in tending the fire.

This fellow Scott reached for our hand; he reached beyond our hand to clasp our wrist in a fashion we returned. We learned this was their culture’s greeting for equals and members of their culture called The Kidz.... there is a bit more to the group name referencing some author or band or such, but the short name for their entire culture appears to be Kidz.

Scott was the fellow who had earlier marched off in distress and he now wanted to share an epiphany with us. Scott had just had a spiritual awakening that evening and was finally free of his despair and suicidal feelings regarding his girlfriend who had been cut in half by a freight train as he watched helpless because it had happened so suddenly...

She had taught him to be a 'traveler' to hop freight trains to tour the world... She had every advantage a university graduate with a good job, apartment, the whole nine yards, the world was hers, she had it all according to Scott who was a homeless drifter kid. He had been riding the rails with his girlfriend for over a year before her accident. She had been climbing a ladder down between two cars while carrying her bag, Scott had already thrown his on bag off and leaped clear of the moving train...

But the train lurched harshly and she was thrown to the ground beneath the wheels...

We could see the depth of pain Scott was still carrying but we could see too that he was adjusting and he began to explain his epiphany and how he had finally heard his girlfriend telling him to carry on living even though he only wanted to die... Well from where we were looking at things Scott had done as we had done, and had killed himself that night in his grief only to learn that he could not die so easily and that he was wanted here and he agreed to return...

We had tried to interrupt his tale a couple of times to let him know that his girlfriend was here in spirit and would always be with him in spirit and that he could continue his relationship with her through spirit but he didn't have any beliefs that allowed him to understand that until his experience that night when he died. So he rejected the idea of her being there in spirit out of mental habit while going on to tell us about how he heard here speak to him tonight and how she had been with him and talking to him this whole past month since her death. What could we say? We were overjoyed to learn he had discovered enough of spirit to have this experience even though he was already beginning to rationalize the death experience he had that night and turn it into a story in his mind that fit what the knew of the 'facts' about death according to most western people's reality paradigms.

We explained some of what had happened to Scott and how he was awakening and that tonight was the most powerful night of his life when he was most capable of manifesting a new life for himself, a better life. He was clearly in some doubt still about deserving a better life and we tried to counsel him on self worth and intention.

We were interrupted by the young blond fellow who gave us a beer and wanted to talk some, and later we all sat together on the north northeast side of the fire smoking and drinking when new people arrived...

The new people were lead by a fellow named ??? who parried verbally with the kidz in a bit of cultural perspective and interface adjustments as some racist remarks were made but everyone agreed to like each other regardless of any prejudices or bigotries...
The new groups leader was respectful and asked permission to join and share and sat with us and Scott felt drawn to him and wanted to tell his story to him. This fellow was touched very deeply in his heart and reached out to hold Scott briefly, more than a hug... and the conversation drifted about around them while Scott unburdened himself with his new friend.

The kidz called the new guy a kid though he was probably close to forty and he knew he'd been accepted among them and was flattered and grateful. But his 4-5 friends were uncomfortable and were now begging to leave as they had jobs to go to in the morning. They could not leave without their friend as he was driving them all... But he had bonded with Scott and was torn and did not want to leave. We explained we were there for Scott and it would be ok and Scott asked for our tobacco and we passed it to him so he could roll smokes for his new friend and himself, he rolled one for someone else as well and we pulled out our own smoke which still had nearly half left as we are a very conservative smoker limited to 3 puffs once a week or less under ordinary circumstances.

The new fellow agreed to take his friends home after his smoke. when he got up to leave Scott accompanied them back to their car and sought us out to continue talking with us when he returned.

Scott's new friend had given him contact info and told him to look him up. He said he wanted to give Scott half a million dollars because he was so fabulously wealthy he had no use for the money and he wanted Scott to be able to makes something good in his life. We pointed out that this was indeed the most powerful night of his life and that the offer may very well be real and sincere and to give it all due consideration because he should be able to tell his new found benefactor how he wants to use the money he will receive.

We discussed Scott's reservations about accepting the money. Scott knew he could easily blow it all partying and giving it away to other kidz and he felt a responsibility to do something more than that with the money but was struggling with the guilt of not sharing it with all the kidz he would meet. We tried to explain that he would always have his gifts of compassion, love and nurture to share with the kidz and that he now had the opportunity to fulfill a dream or vision and to allow himself to find a goal and intend for it to manifest through this gift.

It came time for Scott to go and he was reluctant to leave us. He told us how grateful he was to meet us and how he felt he might not be worthy of meeting us and we explained our life was in service and we were drawn by spirit to be there for him but that we served many people online as well.

We tried to explain how we were really all equals, and that no one is more worthy than anyone else. We described our purpose in life as we see it is to enjoy life to its fullest and to do our best to manifest ourselves as the person we most dream of being… We said that we were all in this together, and that since we really are all equals our only way to improve our situation in life is by helping to improve everyone else’s situation too, so that we all rise up together.

We gave him our card with our blog and email address so that he might contact us when he gets settled. It might take awhile to hear from him as he may not have an email account to use. But if he really intends to contact us he will be able to go to any library, create an email account for free and then get in touch.

Scott was very grateful to receive our card and we hugged and parted...

We hung with the last two kidz left after the folks who had built the sweat lodge tore it down and went home. The one we had first met, Cody, had been telling very interesting stories all night though some bits might have seemed a bit scary, such as the part where he and his friends hunted and killed a man who may have been a vampire and who had demonstrated evidence of being over 200 yrs old...

Cody said this man had controlled an entire town through something that may have been a sort of malign spiritual domination so Cody and his friends probably decided that he was evil and deserved killing for that reason. They may have made a sort of sacrifice of this guy, as Cody described spreading his intestines throughout the branches of a tree in the form of a pentacle above his decapitated head...

Cody related some other strange accounts such as leveling a science building at his HS in an explosion caused when his teacher freaked out about him cooking there. He said spent seven years in jail for that one.... Seems a lot of the kidz may have been in for awhile for one reason or another... Cody said there was 7 million dollars waiting for him when he got out, a payment in thanks for creating an ice cream treat that was marketed very successfully by Dairy Queen.

Cody said he blew all the money partying and described some of the luxuries he enjoyed during that time... We liked his taste in women.

Cody and the blond fellow (damn, bit we sure wish we were better at names as we really liked this kid a lot) took off and we policed the site for rubbish and then we left too...

We no longer recall at what point Buster left but we liked him very much as well. Buster had an innate wisdom and presence of mind that seemed to make him another of our guides that night. We learned a bit from Buster and will try to remember those lessons. Buster spoke more about love than anything else that night and he was clearly a very loving man.

It was some time after 6 am when we got home...

Monday, August 27, 2007

Organic Ocean - Excerpt from illustrated story

This excerpt is from an incomplete illustrated story in which we try to describe some of our adventures in traveling to other worlds...

Friday, August 17, 2007

About Alchemy – Choose to Love

We have the capacity to choose to love in response to every circumstance in our lives. Choosing to love empowers us; the rewards we manifest by choosing to love are wonderful.

About Alchemy – Choose to Love

We often see people complain about being bored or complaining that someone else is boring.

We would like to recommend that if you are often bored with people that you make a special social studies project of people whom you think are boring. We haven't actually met any boring people so we very much doubt that any boring people really do exist.

Some people may seem tiresome, but that is not the same as being boring.

When we find someone appears to be tiresome or boring it is usually due to a disconnection... Their interests and our interests do not seem to match up very well...

Yet everyone has a story, events in their lives which are important to them, things which they feel very passionate about; when you tap into these things and take an interest in them you may typically find that person is really very interesting.

It's a choice we can make, whether to find someone boring or interesting. Learning how to make that choice can be very important to us because in the process of opening ourselves up to a wider range of experiences and stories from other people's lives we can learn much more about ourselves as well.

Every emotional and mental state we experience is something which we can choose to change or to maintain. Maintaining our familiar mental and emotional states may often seem the easiest ting to do, but we can become so over-invested in the belief systems and values which help us to maintain our mental and emotional states that we may become very inflexible and find it much harder to grow, to adapt, or to accept change.

Yet change is inevitable; persons who become rigid and have a diminished capacity to adapt to change often deprive themselves of many opportunities in life; they may cut themselves off from a wealth of experiences that they might have cherished had they allowed themselves to be open to change and to be vulnerable to love.

And perhaps one of the most wonderful things about our lives is that there is an abundance of spiritual wealth and enriching experiences all around us all of the time. It's up to us to see this abundance and to learn how to take advantage of it.

The more we learn to connect to other people the richer we may make our lives. Everyone has something to contribute to our lives that will make our lives more rewarding if we know how to open ourselves up to other people and enable ourselves to discover the wealth within other people that we will personally treasure.

Some of the experiences we have of other people may seem to hurt us, they may appear to be abusive people who deliberately seek to hurt us physically or emotionally, or they may appear to be callous people who casually hurt us without any deliberate intent to do so, who hurt us simply because they may lack the connection to us that makes them value us enough to pay attention to our presence and our needs and to show us compassion, respect or courtesy.

When people appear to be deliberately intent on harming us we usually find that they have been badly hurt themselves and that their only way to cope with their own pain is to make someone else feel worse than they feel. It is a very shallow approach to coping with their own pain and in the end it makes them more miserable even if they appear to enjoy causing us pain at the moment when they are indulging themselves at our expense.

Such wounded people will continue to go about hurting other people until they have found the means to heal themselves and discover the capacity within them to love themselves, as well as a capacity to love and appreciate other people; capacities which they may sometimes appear to be lacking when they allow their personal pain and inner torment to dominate their lives and drive their behavior.

To heal such a person requires patience, acceptance and love. We may not be the one who personally helps them to finally heal themselves but we can still contribute to their healing. The best reasons to contribute to their healing are two-fold, we will stop them from trying to hurt us anymore, and we may help prevent them from hurting other people as well.

Sometimes, to help prevent a malicious person from hurting other people, we may discover we have deliberately or unconsciously provoked such a wounded person to attack us because we aware that the person they may attack next may be weaker than we are, that the next person to become a target of such a person’s malice may suffer much more in response to the malice that this wounded person needs to indulge in than we ourselves may suffer.

When someone with a malicious nature attacks us the first thing to remember is that they are not really attacking who we are. They are attacking their own pain and anger which they are projecting into their perceptions of us. We become the target for what hurts them most within themselves that they cannot tolerate. Their attacks are never really about us; their attacks are really always directed against themselves.

They make it seem like their attacks are about us because they want to believe it is all about us because they are trying to escape from acknowledging how deeply they are hurt and how badly they feel about themselves.

Such people are very skillful at pushing other people's buttons. They instinctively know the weaknesses in other people that will enable them to dominate the other person and abuse them. So they will seem to be making a very personal attack but when they attack anyone, it is never really about the person who appears to be being attacked, it is still all about them and their needs which they do not know how to meet, and the suffering and pain they are causing themselves as a consequence of being unable to meet their needs or even to acknowledge that they may have such needs.

When we can address the deep seated needs which are genuinely driving such a person's behavior we place ourselves in control of the situation and we may then be able to deflect their hostility and awaken their love and happiness and joy in order to give them a moment of sweet respite from being the monster they have made of themselves. They may react with fear to this sort of experience at first because it is unfamiliar and threatens to undermine their coping mechanisms based on hostility because their hostility becomes inappropriate when they are awakened to their capacity to love and feel compassion for themselves and others.

Their initial fear can re-ignite their hostility because their hostility is a defense mechanism to protect them from being hurt. When they love they become vulnerable and being vulnerable is often intolerable to such a person. But with patience and love such a person's defense mechanisms may be worn down little by little to be replaced with an increasing capacity to respond to circumstances in their lives with love and compassion.

Usually one person will not be there with them the entire way to guide them through this sort of transformation. It generally takes many, many people each contributing a little bit toward successfully helping someone like this to heal. This is because what needs to be healed most in such people is their trust of people in general. Specific people may have hurt them, but they often lack the capacity to distinguish the difference between those people who may have hurt them and other people who may or may not hurt them. So they choose to perceive everyone as a potential threat and then choose to respond with hostility in order to protect themselves.

Only when many, many people have all shown such a person true love, compassion, respect and kindness they will slowly heal so that they may learn to trust and to love. Such a person may often then experience a great deal of anguish as they heal because they may come to hate themselves for all the pain they believe they may have caused other people to feel. The pain of their self hatred can re-ignite their anger and their frustration with themselves and may cause them to return to their old ways of acting with hostility toward everyone around them.

But at this stage their healing is actually well under way and those special people who are able to show such a person mercy, tenderness, love and compassion will continue to lead those wounded people back to the source of their pain and may reawaken their capacity to love and nurture themselves and to learn to love and nurture the people around them. Eventually such wounded people may be able to heal themselves to a level where they may be able to promote the same sort of healing in other people too.

Even our worst enemies, the people who have hurt us the most, are opportunities for us to develop our compassion, tolerance and love. The rewards of discovering a capacity within ourselves to love and heal hostile, wounded people are immense because when we have made our contributions to heal such people we are helping to protect others from harm as well as learning to keep ourselves safe from the sort of harm we may otherwise allow such a person to do to us.

The fact that we actually do allow other people to harm us is the other half of this amazing spiritual equation... We really do choose to allow other people to hurt us. We invite them to do so. We are never random victims. Whenever we manifest an experience of feeling harmed we have an inner need that has driven us to find that experience and manifest it in our lives.

Ultimately we are in total control of our lives at all times. Learning to take conscious, willful control of our destinies is part of the art of alchemy and it begins with loving in response to every experience in our lives. It continues by accepting our responsibility for creating our circumstances, and it comes to fruition when we have empowered ourselves to consciously choose what we will manifest in our lives once we have worked through all of our own inner pain and conflicts and no longer possess any hidden motivations to punish ourselves with deprivation or abuse.

That is how alchemy works… Alchemy is driven by our spirit, it is powered by our love, it is shaped by our will, and it manifests in our lives as abundance and joy.

It is always our choice to love in response to everything we experience... So choose to love and to love always!


Hello Reader,
We are collectively known by the name of Greg Gourdian for the purposes of publishing our articles. We are a group of people spanning many worlds and universes; we cohabitate many bodies, however we have only one body ere in this world we share with you.
We worked with the general public as a psychic reader for a little over four years from 1981 to 1986. While much of our written work has been channeled we may often admit that we have no idea who many of the voices of our channeled work may be.
We have many strange tales to tell regarding our spiritual journeys and we try to tell our tales in a humorous or entertaining manner.
While we were a high-school student without teaching credentials we taught high-school classes in metaphysics & parapsychology, psychology, and sociology.
We are still emerging from the closet in regard to being a system of many people inhabiting what appears to be a single body in the context of the world we seem to share with you. Our current written works reflect this new change in perspective as we have adopted the plural personal pronoun to help us to develop a greater awareness and understanding of ourselves.
We hope you will understand if we sometimes may sound awkward or conceited as a consequence of making this verbal adjustment in how we refer to ourselves.
Our group's primary beliefs share these ideals:
That love should be universal and unconditional.
That liberty is a gift like love which may be enjoyed better by giving it to everyone.
That justice may best be served by not judging.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Psychic Reading - Cold Reading & Ethical Considerations

The term ‘cold reading’ refers to a process in which the reader appears to fish for information while trying to get their subject to gain confidence in their abilities to read them which may include small deceptions or avoiding areas of poor performance by quickly moving on to other topics and by reinforcing any affinity or empathic responses perceived in the subject which are directed toward the reader.

Psychic Reading - Cold Reading & Ethical Considerations

Cold reading is a practice of using guesswork to develop enough information about a subject’s circumstances that the reader can then go on to provide advice that seems personal to the subject as if it were special advice just for them rather than general advice that may be true for many or most people in the same circumstances. The reader focuses on accurate guesses and distracts the subject from their inaccurate guesses in order to maintain an illusion of their psychic abilities and their connectedness with their subject.

Because it is possible to use cold reading techniques to fool a subject into believing in the authenticity of a reader’s psychic powers many skeptics are prone to try to explain all psychic phenomena that occur in readings on the basis of cold reading.

However there is a valid psychic practice called attunement which may appear to have many of the same characteristics as cold reading and which is very often learned by learning cold reading first. A reader who is establishing their attunement with their subject may talk with their subject in order to establish an empathic rapport. In this state of rapport the reader is able to more deeply sense what is troubling their subject and to respond with helpful information. The difference between cold reading and attunement is that with a successful attunement the subject and reader enter into a much deeper level of communication so that the words which may be spoken become only small conceptual tokens which help the reader and subject to share much larger and more complex ideas and perceptions than may be apparent to an onlooker who does not participate in the attunement or rapport shared by the reader and their subject.

By reaching this deep level of communication through attunement a reader may often address a broad range of issues and circumstances with an economy of words in order to quickly help their subject see for themselves what is going on in their life and how to remedy something which may be distressing them. On the surface it may seem like a simple conversation but there is a deeper level of communication taking place between the reader and subject where the real conversation and healing are taking place.

To the casual observer there may be no evidence that anything extraordinary is taking place. However, to an attuned observer it is clear how much of the conversation is taking place at a deeper more intuitive level between the reader and their subject. This may cause the casual observer to mistakenly believe that only a cold reading is being given.

A potential to be misunderstood by observers is one reason it is important for psychic readers to behave in a strictly ethical manner. As much as possible, readers should bypass those elements of their dialogue with their subjects which are most common to cold reading practices in their efforts to attune with their subjects.

A far more important reason to exhibit consistently ethical conduct is the potential for abuse of the relationship between a reader and their subject. There are several potential dangers for the subject, as well as some dangers for the reader.

Psychic reading has an extraordinary potential to raise the energy levels of both the reader and their subject. The intense rush of energy, clarity, love and wellbeing that results can be highly addictive for some individuals, so caution and balance are important at all times.

Both readers and there clients may be prone to become dependent upon psychic reading either for guidance and support or for a sense of self worth and wellbeing. This is an unhealthy condition and readers or their subjects who develop dependencies upon psychic reading need to take a break and work on the appropriate skills, concepts or understanding that will help them to approach reading in a healthy manner free of dependency.

Perhaps the most serious danger to the subject is that they will become dependent upon the reader for guidance rather than learning to understand their life and learning the skills needed to become an independent, self empowered person.

The goal of psychic reading should always be to show the subject how they may learn to trust their own intuition and understanding of their life and circumstances and how they may take charge of their life so that they may empower themselves to heal, prosper, love and nurture more successfully. Anything that fails to enable a subject to achieve these goals may be a serious disservice to the subject.

Far less commonplace, but far more serious, is a potential to give the subject of a psychic reading information that may inadvertently cause them to harm themselves either unwittingly or deliberately. It is incumbent upon readers to avoid sharing any information or advise which may be misunderstood or acted upon in a harmful or destructive manner, whether that harm may be directed by the subject against themselves or toward another person or their property.

In some circumstances readers may fall into a trap in which their sense of self worth becomes dependent upon their relationship with their subjects. This is a very dangerous situation because any feelings of insecurity on the part of the reader may become magnified in their relationships with their clients and their responses to their increasing feelings of insecurity may cause them to over-reach and provide false or misleading advice or information in an effort to compensate. Alternatively, the reader may develop a reactive false sense of their self worth which verges upon egomania. In such a state they may still be likely to over-reach themselves and to provide information or advice that may be more harmful than nurturing.

Psychic reading is a powerful tool for personal change which impacts both the reader and their client equally. When a reader successfully assists a subject to resolve an area of their life in which they have been causing harm to themselves or others around them the reader is reinforcing the same lessons within themselves which they shared with their subject, and the reader is actively healing themselves of past injuries related to the lessons being reviewed with their subject. As a consequence, some of the same warnings which should be given to the subject of a psychic reading may also apply to the reader.

Because of the potential to examine, change or heal deeply seated complexes of behavior and self perception, readers should advise their subjects that they may feel unusual for awhile and that they should not be hasty to take any serious actions while they are adjusting to their new state of awareness and wellbeing.

One of the consequences of deep change in a person’s life as a result of a psychic reading may be strange illnesses which seem to come and go for no particular reason. Subjects and readers should visit their doctors if symptoms persist for a long time or seem life threatening or debilitating. While these problems may often clear up on their own in a few days or at most a couple of weeks, this period of transition can be frightening and subjects and readers alike must be prepared to share their problems or feelings with members of their support networks while the changes taking place within them are active.

One common symptom reported by many people is a feeling of having a nervous breakdown. They are absolutely correct to perceive themselves as having a breakdown, but in general, such a breakdown is healthy and it is important to help the person who feels this way to understand that what they are going through is a healthy part of the changes taking place in their life. They need to know that everything is really ok and that the discomfort will pass.

People’s lives are built up brick by brick with countless small habits. These habits may be personal ways of thinking, perceiving or feeling, as well as ways of physically behaving in context to their environment, their social roles, their personal relationships, and to themselves. All of these habits are interrelated; together they maintain a person’s life in what is typically a stable pattern which provides them with comfort, security, nurture, love and understanding.

When transformative healing takes place it is necessary to change many of these interrelated habits all at once and as a result the entire edifice of a person’s ego or self perception, and their understanding of how they are related to the world around them crumbles in order for healthier habits to emerge and become the new building blocks the individual will now use to maintain themselves. This process can be terrifying and many people may wind up in some form of mental health care in order to find help with dealing with this sort of powerful change in their lives.

Because the mental health care systems in most nations fail to adequately recognize and respond to this sort of change, many people feel afraid to approach these care-giving networks for help. However it is important that people in such circumstances reach out for help and these services may still be the best way for them to find help in a crisis. If the person who is in need of urgent care is informed about what is happening to them then their chances of successfully engaging mental health services to help them through their crisis are very good, so it is important to recognize symptoms of this sort of problem and advise persons who may be experiencing a mental or emotional breakdown so that they understand what is happening to them and can seek appropriate support services with confidence that they will receive the care they require to manage their crisis successfully.

Both readers and their subjects need to understand this important aspect of the work they are engaging in so that when they succeed in initiating a transformational healing process they will be prepared for any consequences and will be capable of coping with those consequences as they heal and become happier, healthier, more loving and more nurturing human beings.


Hello Reader,
We are collectively known by the name of Greg Gourdian for the purposes of publishing our articles. We are a group of people spanning many worlds and universes; we cohabitate many bodies, however we have only one body here in this world we share with you.
We worked with the general public as a psychic reader for a little over four years from 1981 to 1986. While much of our written work has been channeled we may often admit that we have no idea who many of the voices of our channeled work may be.
We have many strange tales to tell regarding our spiritual journeys and we try to tell our tales in a humorous or entertaining manner.
While we were a high-school student without teaching credentials we taught high-school classes in metaphysics & parapsychology, psychology, and sociology.
We are still emerging from the closet in regard to being a system of many people inhabiting what appears to be a single body in the context of the world we seem to share with you. Our current written works reflect this new change in perspective as we have adopted the plural personal pronoun to help us to develop a greater awareness and understanding of ourselves.
We hope you will understand if we sometimes may sound awkward or conceited as a consequence of making this verbal adjustment in how we refer to ourselves.
Our group's primary beliefs share these ideals:
That love should be universal and unconditional.
That liberty is a gift like love which may be enjoyed better by giving it to everyone.
That justice may best be served by not judging.


Please visit our blog:

Monday, July 16, 2007

The Spirit Moon - An Alchemical Cauldron

The goal of alchemy is to evolve the worldly expression of our spirits to the epitome of what we are able to become as human beings. To ennoble ourselves spiritually by becoming more loving, nurturing and compassionate, expressing those noble qualities in our lives by sharing our lives with everyone to help them to become as rich and noble in spirit as they possibly may be so that as many people as possible fulfill all of their shining potentials.

The Spirit Moon - An Alchemical Cauldron

An internet site called ‘The Spirit Moon’ is a wonderful place to experience healing and personal growth, particularly in terms of developing latent psychic abilities. What makes this place so wonderful is that the community of people there participate in the alchemical arts of personal transformation on conscious and unconscious levels which enable members to heal themselves of old injuries to their psyches and to evolve as human beings to exemplify the very best traits of being gifted humans whose love, nurturing and compassion are transforming not only themselves, but also their worlds and the people they encounter on a daily basis.

When we consider the depth to which we have observed The Spirit Moon impact the lives of its members we find ourselves in awe of the miraculous transformations taking place. The Spirit Moon is a place of intense healing that keeps pace with the capacities of its members to tolerate change and growth, pushing the members to stretch themselves beyond whatever limits they have may have imposed upon themselves in order to reach deeper levels of insight and understanding regarding the roles they play in their lives. This enables them to make the sort of personal changes that many people may often only dream of, and which may be very difficult to realize, particularly in isolation.

Much of the inner work people need to do to heal and to grow may often be difficult or seem impossible to complete in isolation, and yet the sort of person who is typically most ready for this type of extraordinary growth quite often finds themselves very isolated, unable to find companions in life who understand what they are going through and who are able to share in the marvelous adventure that their lives are poised upon the brink of becoming. Such people are set apart from others by personal values, beliefs or experiences which are unusual or may seem alien to many or most of the people they may meet. They may love the people around them with a deep abiding passion and yet they may also feel cut off from these same people because they feel misunderstood or because those special parts of themselves which they may treasure most seem unimportant to anyone around them.

Communities such as The Spirit Moon provide a haven from the isolation which so many sweet and loving people may often find themselves trapped in. These communities provide the sort of support that might ordinarily be found in traditional social settings such as schools, churches or civic clubs to a class of people who too often find themselves unable to fit in among the folk who are typically members of such organizations.

It is not necessarily a failing of these organizations that there may always be some people who feel left out or unable to participate in them. These organizations typically serve the needs of their communities well. Nor are failures to fit in a fault in people who feel unable to participate in the lives and activities of the folks they love, such as their neighbors, family or friends.

Sadly, many people who fail to fit in are harshly judged by both the people around them and themselves; they may despair of being able to come to terms with themselves and who they are, or of finding any happiness in life.

The Spirit Moon is a special place because it can make many isolated people feel deeply welcomed and loved and may give them opportunities to safely explore their lives, their ideas and their ideals without fear of social reprobation and without the binding need to either censor themselves or deny themselves in order to receive approval form the community.

We may choose to regard The Spirit Moon as being similar to an alchemical cauldron in which the members are boiled down to their bones. What remains is their pure spiritual essence, the root of their existence in this world, stripped of illusions and self deceits. This spiritual cauldron intensifies the growth and psychic development of the members because they may often find themselves interacting with many people similar to themselves who are actively following their personal spiritual paths, and who share the sort of hard won wisdom and knowledge that may be used to discern the truth unique to each individual’s state of being and potential for growth.

Wile the interactions of members of The Spirit Moon may often seem to be somewhat random or haphazard the wonderful insights the members share with one another somehow seem to always be appropriate and on target, so that the people who commune with another in the chat rooms, or through the forums are able to heal themselves and move ahead more easily upon their spiritual paths.

Perhaps The Cauldron Moon would be a more apt name for The Spirit Moon because the cauldron so aptly expresses the powerful transformative potentials which are a routine part of The Spirit Moon experience. Woven through the joyful and chaotic dialogues of The Spirit Moon are a somewhat flexible schedule of events and classes in which members may learn how to develop their latent or active psychic abilities. These events and classes strongly reinforce the members’ sense of participation in a community of vital peers who share many common interests and a deep commitment to personal growth and service to others.

We cannot say enough to recommend this community to anyone who is looking for a group of people with whom to share their spiritual journey.


Hello Reader,
We are collectively known by the name of Greg Gourdian for the purposes of publishing our articles. We are a group of people spanning many worlds and universes; we cohabitate many bodies, however we have only one body here in this world we share with you.
We worked with the general public as a psychic reader for a little over four years from 1981 to 1986. While much of our written work has been channeled we may often admit that we have no idea who many of the voices of our channeled work may be.
We have many strange tales to tell regarding our spiritual journeys and we try to tell our tales in a humorous or entertaining manner.
While we were a high-school student without teaching credentials we taught high-school classes in metaphysics & parapsychology, psychology, and sociology.
We are still emerging from the closet in regard to being a system of many people inhabiting what appears to be a single body in the context of the world we seem to share with you. Our current written works reflect this new change in perspective as we have adopted the plural personal pronoun to help us to develop a greater awareness and understanding of ourselves.
We hope you will understand if we sometimes may sound awkward or conceited as a consequence of making this verbal adjustment in how we refer to ourselves.
Our group's primary beliefs share these ideals:
That love should be universal and unconditional.
That liberty is a gift like love which may be enjoyed better by giving it to everyone.
That justice may best be served by not judging.


Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Chaos Magick

Our thanks to Andilyne from The Ascension Network for inspiring us with their question…

We met Andilyne on the internet recently and they asked us what we might know about ‘Chaos Magick’. While we have heard of Chaos Magick we have not studied it in any formal manner. We believe we probably have an intuitive understanding and approach to magick which may strongly resemble whatever Chaos Magick may be considered to be in theory or practice. This was our reply.

Chaos Magick

We do not know a great deal about 'chaos' magick, however we can share what we know about magick and chaos.

Chaos is a description for complex systems. The level of organization of such systems can be modeled using chaos theory which allows approximations of such systems to produce predictions which correlate closely with observed results.

It is questionable whether true chaos actually exists or whether it only appears to exist because of fundamental limitations of human conceptualization abilities. The only things we really 'know' are all just abstract concepts. With regard to people who are considered 'sane' or 'rational' these concepts are closely related to the so-called 'real' world objects, systems and events we can observe. However, in regard to people like ourselves who may be considered 'crazy' the capacity to work with less rigidly structured conceptualizations may sometimes allow us to function in more complex contexts such as multiple realities and parallel dimensions.

Magick is the capacity to use ritual to select the reality you wish to experience. The primary purpose of ritual is not to change something external to the magick user, but to attune the magick user's mind and emotions so that they may experience a specific reality in which the desired result already exists or can manifest. All possible things/ systems/ events already exist, and everything is possible. The trick is to synchronize yourself to the reality in which that which you desire exists or will occur.

Since we are ultimately responsible for the creation of everything we experience, we actually participate in the creation of the world itself and the universe around it etc... As nearly as we understand this, we each have our own unique universe that we create, in which we create worlds and bodies and so forth that are given to other beings to use. So in our universe the person we experience as being you, the reader, has a body we create for you to use, while in your universe our body is a gift from you that you created for us to use. We use something called 'consensus reality' to co-ordinate events and objects etc. so that the universe you create and the universe we create may appear to be virtually identical or indistinguishable.

Creating a universe is a very complex task, and yet you do it all the time non-consciously. The conscious part of your mind is unaware of most of the tasks the rest of your mind performs. We link our minds together at various levels. For instance we share a common consciousness called the super-consciousness which informs us about consensus reality and how to participate in consensus reality to keep things in balance between our universe and the universes created by others. Another level where our minds may be linked is at the root level where our instincts exist, sometimes called the unconscious. Instincts govern our animal needs and physiological responses. At this level we appear to have a more primordial consciousness, whereas at the super-conscious level we may have a more calculating or cybernetic consciousness. Only four general aspects of our mind are mapped out, and nothing is really known for sure about these, the fourth aspect is our subconscious where forgotten memories and repressed behavior may reside. Our consciousness is typically unaware of the activities of the other three parts which we collectively call the non-conscious.

Occult tools like astrology, numerology and tarot, or practices like meditation and prayer are methods for expanding our consciousness so that we become more aware of our non-consciousness. Using an intuitive or instinctive awareness of our entire state of being might be described as a chaos approach to consciousness whereby we enable ourselves to reach states of mind whereby we are able to rewrite 'reality' or what we experience of the world we create to better suit our needs or desires.

In effect, it is necessary to abandon the local consensus reality and join a different consensus reality which allows magickal events to occur. This is because consensus reality loosely defines what is possible or permissible and what is not. Not all consensus reality states forbid levitation or teleportation or transfiguration, etc. But the consensus reality employed locally among the worlds which you or ourselves appear to share disallows these things and it can be very difficult to get around the limits imposed by this local consensus reality.

Nonetheless the potential for a unique universe exists in which you experience whatever you are looking for, and it is only necessary to transmigrate your consciousness from this local consensus reality to a consensus reality that permits what you are Working for to exist.

Good luck in your magickal endeavors! We are working hard to debug our internal logic systems so that we stop interfering with our own desires and can attune ourselves more successfully to realities that more easily support our perceived desires or needs. We can perceive many alternate realities, but until we resolve our internal conflicts it will continue to be difficult to make the sort of choices that will enable us to be more successful at realizing our goals and dreams.

Take care; love Greg, Roger, Alina, Emily, Jerry, Eric, Caz, Pol, Tina, Tom, et al...

Um yes, some readers may nit be aware of our multiple identity issues, but our multipleness appears to be at least partly related to our multi-dimensional perceptual abilities. Greg is our writer. As nearly as we can tell all people have the capacity to perceive alternate realities, its just that those perceptions are usually filtered out before their consciousness can become aware of them. Perceiving alternate dimensions is a necessary faculty for navigating life and choosing what we wish to experience and everyone employs this gift, it’s just that most folks are unaware of doing so or how they do it.

Perceiving multiple realities has definitely been confusing and may make our experiences appear chaotic. It takes time to adjust to these perceptions and learn to functionally incorporate them into our daily lives.

Have fun!


Hi, we are collectively known by the name of Greg Gourdian for the purposes of publishing articles. We are a collective of people spanning many worlds and universes; we cohabitate many bodies in many very different or similar worlds.

We worked with the general public as a psychic reader for a little over four years from 1981 to 1986. While much of our written work is channeled, we may sometimes admit that we may have no idea who many of the voices of our channeled work may be.

We have many strange tales to tell regarding our spiritual journeys and we try to tell our tales in a humorous or entertaining manner.

While we were not an accredited teacher, we have taught high-school classes in metaphysics & parapsychology, psychology, and sociology, while we were attending our high-school as a student.

We are still emerging from the closet in regard to being a system of many people inhabiting what appears to be a single body in the context of the interface pairs we share with you. Our current written works reflect this new change in perspective as we have adopted the plural personal pronoun in order to reinforce our awareness and understanding of ourselves in regard to the multipleness of our being.

We apologize if we sometimes may sound either awkward or conceited as a consequence of making this change in how we refer to ourselves.

The core of our groups’ primary beliefs share these ideals: That love should be universal and unconditional; that liberty is our most important right, and that liberty is a gift like love which we may best enjoy by giving it freely to all others; and that justice may best be served by not judging.


Visit Greg's blog at

Monday, June 25, 2007

Universal Interfaces

As we understand this, the universes which we experience are all artifacts. The worlds we live in appear to be elaborate interfaces which enable us to communicate with other people. Our interfaces appear to be completely unique unto ourselves; it seems that unique and separate, but very similar, universal interfaces exist for every person we meet. This article explores the concept of our worlds as parts of a set of cosmic universal interfaces and also explores the implications and potentials that result from this particular paradigm for the nature of reality.

Universal Interfaces

Quantum mechanics suggests that an infinite array of alternative potential realities exist, and that we may choose which potentials we experience by an act of nonconscious observation, thereby causing a single instance of all of the infinite potentials, to become real to us.

Quantum physics also reveals that nothing exists in isolation. Ultimately, every part of the universe is intimately and directly connected to every other part by a quantum property known as entanglement, which has been demonstrated to tie parts very entangled particles together, such that any change in state of one part of an entangled system causes an instantaneous change in all the entangled parts, regardless of how distantly the parts are separated by space-time. Because all particles are entangled at the beginning of creation in the initial state preceding a big bang, all of creation is interactively connected instantaneously, even over potentially infinite distances.

Entanglement is a quantum physical property that transcends space-time as space-time is commonly understood, since, within the bounds of conventional physics, nothing may exceed the speed of light. Information has been proven to be propagated by entanglement, and has been demonstrated to be instantly communicated across vast distances of space-time.

Experiments in quantum mechanics indicate that our thoughts or expectations have a direct influence on what we will experience; events occur in ways we are familiar with, with results that often closely follow our expectations. Typically, the universe will behave in ways which we believe it will behave. Experiments have successfully shown that this property of the universe to behave according to our expectations is true even when contradictory, mutually exclusive expectations are established. Therefore, it seems likely that the universes we experience are a direct result of our system of beliefs and expectations. In simple terms, the worlds we experience are a direct result of mind over matter.

Two videos, “What the Bleep Do We Know?” and “The Secret” explain this process in detail and explore some of its implications and potentials.

The primary implication is that we ourselves are ultimately responsible for everything which we experience because each of us creates our own worlds and universes around ourselves spontaneously and instantaneously, from moment to moment. Our powers of creation then appear to have infinite potentials and we may learn to realize ourselves as god-like beings.


While it cannot be proven that the material world we experience actually exists, it may help to accept the presumption that our perceptions are related to something real. We are in the habit of believing that the worlds and universes we experience exist outside of ourselves because they appear to be separate from ourselves if we define ourselves as limited to our individual physical bodies. We tend to think of our minds as inhabiting our bodies, but quantum physics seems to indicate that our minds create our bodies, which contradicts the common belief that our consciousness arises from our physical forms.

As we currently understand this, our bodies are just mobile terminals of our consciousness, (mobile within the larger context of the worlds and universes that our bodies appear to inhabit), and that our bodies are in no way separate from or independent of the worlds or universes we appear to live in. We are, therefore, each and every one of us, the sum of all creation, from the infinitely large to the infinitely small.

Furthermore, there appear to be many levels of consciousness, such that every part of the whole of creation, from the tiniest quantum to the most infinitely large universes which we create, has an organizational principle or consciousness unique to itself, but which is also an integrated part of our own consciousness. This means that every grain of sand, every blade of grass, every insect, bird and beast are all really sentient, feeling, aware parts of ourselves. We are literally the worlds and the universes we inhabit; we are each a cosmic collective called creation within which everything which we experience is made manifest. Everything which exists around us is an intimate part of each and every one of us; a part of who we really are.


The various levels of our consciousness are similar to subroutines within a computer program. They provide the instruction sets that inform us how to be ourselves, they inform us how to manifest every part of ourselves which is the sum of creation. We appear to be infinite beings which are extended throughout the entirety of creation; the various subroutines which are parts of our consciousness inform us how to be flowers and bees and locusts and storms. All of these parts of ourselves which we are in the habit of thinking of as external to ourselves are really internal parts of our ultimate state of being. We only need to awaken from our limited states of consciousness in order to understand this so that we may begin to explore the infinite potentials which are implied by our divine and ultimate state of being.

The worlds which we inhabit are then our children. Who you appear to be to us, and who we appear to be to you are subsets of ourselves or yourselves, thus you are a part of us and we are a part of you. The worlds we experience together appear to be very elaborate interfaces whereby we may communicate with each other.

The worlds which we create appear to us to be separate worlds unique to ourselves. In the worlds which you create we appear within you, within your worlds, as separate beings who may inform you of our beliefs and our experiences in the context of our own worlds. You cannot experience any of our own worlds directly. You can only experience our descriptions of our worlds as communicated to you within the context of your own world by our avatars. In our worlds you likewise appear to us as avatars of separate beings that you may perceive as being yourselves, avatars who may inform us of the nature of your own unique beliefs and the personal experiences you have of your own worlds.

The bodies you appear to inhabit in our worlds belong to us and are parts of ourselves, while the bodies we appear to inhabit in your worlds belong entirely to you.

While we each appear to be divine beings, you alone rule over all of your creations, while we alone rule over all of our creations. Your bodies in our universes are subject to our will, and vice versa, our bodies in your universes are subject to your will. Those of our bodies which belong to you as integral parts of yourself may be considered as hostages. We should act with respect to those of your bodies which inhabit our own universes as your emissaries or avatars if we wish to hope that our avatars or emissaries in your universes will be treated equally well.

We believe the universes in which we exist remain separate and unique to ourselves, but that the points where we intersect with others like yourself require the existence of unique interface sets which establish common rules and circumstances for all of our mutual interactions.

So long as we both agree on a common set of rules things work out fairly well. The common set of rules we use to define the interfaces with which we interact with each other may be called Consensus Reality. Consensus reality is a shared belief system that allows us to cooperate in creating interfaces with which can communicate with one another with mutually agreeable terms and conditions.

However, we are often not comfortable with the rules provided in this particular set of interfaces belonging to the consensus realities collectively known as Planet Earth. We do not like all the restraints this cluster of consensus realities imposes upon our being. We wonder why anyone would want to accept or tolerate such restraints. We wonder why anyone would even wish to create such restraints. Death and taxes? Slavery? War? Pollution?

So many things about this set of worlds in which we interface with you seem miserable. Why were we taught to manifest such mean-spirited, close-minded realities in order to interface with each other here? We do not like it, and we are pretty sure that you probably don’t like it very much either.

It has its good points, we can sometimes find close friends, family or lovers that make it a pleasure to be here with all of you, but when we find ourselves overwhelmed by the apparent limitations of being a part of this set of worlds then we very often feel depressed or upset.

Earth does not currently seem to resemble the sort of comfortable, happy, loving existence we know is possible. We want this to change. Particularly we want to help to change the socio-economic dynamics which are directing this particular group of worlds to self-destruct.

In our primary universes we are much happier beings. Such problems are resolved and we exist in a state of joy and peace. Here, in these subset worlds called Earth we are in terrible pain all the time and we hear the cries of many, many people living in fear and dying in terror.

We know that it does not have to be this way. The people of this planet do not have to become extinct. Nor do they have to accept lives limited by scarce resources or live lives which are abused by socio-economic systems based on games of domination and conflict.

It is our goal to liberate ourselves within the context of this group of worlds we mutually create with one another; in the process of our liberation we hope everyone else will have the opportunity to be liberated as well. If it is your choice to exist in a state of self-inflicted slavery and abuse as victims who are dominated by your worlds’ socio-economic dynamics, then so be it, however in the worlds we choose to create we hope you will choose to be free.

The consensus reality rules of the interfaces we create here in order to share our lives with you are not immutable. All sorts of miraculous things are possible if we can collectively choose with you to permit them to be possible. We may fly or teleport, we may transmute matter, we may create all we need, want or desire ad hoc, just by willing it to exist.

This is our reality, our experience, we know these possibilities exist and can be realized. We want to share that knowledge with you. By advising you that these possibilities exist and that you may learn how to experience them we may be able experience them with you when you too have learned how very elastic and mutable the rules of so-called ‘reality’ really are.

It all begins with deconstructing our beliefs. Everything which we believe to be true about ourselves and our worlds must be examined. Invalid, suspect or unsubstantiated beliefs should be abandoned or relegated to subset universes where they may be stored, but where we no longer rely upon them as resource models for informing ourselves about what is true or real or possible in the worlds and universes we wish to build for ourselves.

If we closely examine all of our beliefs we typically find that all belief systems are equally valid or that all belief systems are equally invalid. So why should we choose to participate in any sets of belief systems which may result in experiences of misery, poverty, pain, or anguish?

We believe that all of creation belongs to us, individually, and collectively, with you; we believe that we ourselves have made all of our universes to be what we experience them to be. We believe we may now realize ourselves as we truly are, as divine beings who may worship one another in love, peace and abundance.


Namaste: A Hindu word used as a greeting which recognizes the divinity of the person who is addressed; it implies that the person speaking this word recognizes their own divinity as well.


Hi, we are collectively known by the name of Greg Gourdian for the purposes of publishing articles. We are a collective of people spanning many worlds and universes; we cohabit many bodies in different or similar worlds.

We worked with the general public as a psychic reader for a little over four years from 1981 to 1986. While much of our written work is channeled, we may sometimes admit that we may have no idea who many of the voices of our channeled work may be.

We have many strange tales to tell regarding our spiritual journeys and we try to tell our tales in a humorous or entertaining manner.

While we were not an accredited teacher, we have taught high-school classes in metaphysics & parapsychology, psychology, and sociology, while we were attending our high-school as a student.

We are still emerging from the closet in regard to being a system of many people inhabiting what appears to be a single body in the context of the interface pairs we share with you. Our current written works reflect this new change in perspective as we have adopted the plural personal pronoun in order to reinforce our awareness and understanding of ourselves in regard to the multipleness of our being.

We apologize if we sometimes may sound either awkward or conceited as a consequence of making this change in how we refer to ourselves.

The core of our groups’ primary beliefs share these ideals: That love should be universal and unconditional; that liberty is our most important right, and that liberty is a gift like love which we may best enjoy by giving it freely to all others; and that justice may best be served by not judging.


Visit Greg's blog at