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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Transformation in Progress – Cleansing Chakras

Does an epic battle truly exist between Light and Dark? I have enjoyed writing and reading stories about battles between good and evil that have been characterized as Light and. Dark, and many believe that such an epic battle is actually taking place with our Earth as a prize to be claimed by the winners. It has been my opinion that there could not be such a battle of this nature taking place but could I have been mistaken?

While trying to perform some chakra cleansing work recently with the help of a Reiki master both my Reiki friend and I came up with the same thing after she experienced a block when sending me energy. The thing we each came up with independently was’ parasites’.

I have been told in the past that I have incorporeal parasitic entities attached to my aura which were making holes in it. So when my Reiki friend and I both came across these parasites I decided to communicate with them to learn what they were and why they were attached to me.

I am not sure what these parasites may be or why I would be protective of them, but they were giving me chills when I began to investigate them. I suspect there is a symbiotic relationship of sorts wherein these things enhance or facilitate my psychic abilities or some other property related to how I perceive and work with the universe.

What they may get in return I cannot yet say.

I know at one time I thought these creatures were hitch-hikers that attached to me during my astral travels. While there do appear to be creatures waiting in the astral which may appear to be malevolent or harmful predatory entities, these symbionts do not appear to be in that class of creatures. I can't say how many of them there are except that there are many; like a colony of some sort. They say they help me or they want to help me but I am not sure if that is not a self serving message to beguile me from getting rid of them. I do tend to feel that I should trust them; however I also believe that I clearly need to find out more about them.

They say that they found me lost and that they returned me to my world but now they cannot return themselves to wherever it may be they came from. I don't know how true any of that is, right now I regard it as just a story they are telling me about which I cannot get any verifiable detail. If I understand what they are saying then they are telling me that I lost a part of my mind and that they have replaced it for me with themselves. According to these parasites it’s part of my mind necessary for the integration of my physical form in the physical plane. This is the clearest communication I've ever had with them regarding our relationship to one another. It is strange to talk with them they have so very many tiny little voices that all speak in unison in order to be heard.

The closest I can come to describing these creatures might be to call them nanites. They are non-physical ultra tiny consciousnesses. They have once more repeated that I somehow got lost and that they brought me back.

I believe I used to have nightmares about them.

In one of my recurring dreams I meet invaders from outer space or another dimension and they proceed to take over our entire world by subsuming everyone they invade in a collective consciousness similar to the group mind of the invaders in the ‘Body Snatchers’ movies. In these dreams I have always rebelled against the invaders and refused to allow them to possess my body or to coerce me join their collective mind.

Hmmm, it has been awhile since I last revisited those dreams. I never really knew what to make of the invaders in these dreams so while these dreams would have made a very good basis for a story I neglected any opportunity to explore the story further.

If I try to interpret the dream then it is I myself, and not the world which has been invaded and it is my consciousness that is being channeled into alignment with a collective conscious or super-conscious mind.

These creatures say they are repairers. They fix what is broken. There voices are somewhat stilted, they speak in broken fragments. It is a little weird and very emotional for me to listen to them and to channel their words into this story. There is something which part of me does not want to know which is pivotal to why these nanite-like beings are a part of me.

I know intellectually that I must learn what this knowledge is that I am so deliberately avoiding. I can distinctly feel a fear or reluctance to bring that knowledge into my conscious awareness. This knowledge is very strongly linked to fear and to pain and to death. The death experiences which are a part of this forbidden knowledge seem to be related to this current lifetime rather than to ‘past lives’. The nanite creatures seem to be telling me that each time I die they create an alternate dimension in which I continue to live.

This purpose which the nanites are describing feels as if it began with an early childhood death; possibly, and this does feel very right, it was a death in infancy; a death where I willed myself to die.

I have that history; I was one of those ‘failure to thrive’ infants. I have terrible memories of my prenatal experiences and after my birth my parents were very afraid that I would die, I refuse to eat and my parents had no choice but to force feed me with a large plastic syringe pushed down my throat. I hated that so much I learned to eat on my own to make it stop.

Ok, now the sixty-four thousand dollar question. Is this information real, or is it some form of deception? It does feel real, but things in my mind often get so slippery that I am accustomed to doubting everything, and my doubt has become habitual enough that it has very nearly been my undoing by doubting the efficacy of prayer, remote healing, meditation or visualization, all of which have recently benefited me enormously. My doubt is chronic and sometimes dangerous and so I have found that I must even doubt my doubt.

My conclusion has been to accept the information that has been received in this channeling as being real until it may be proven otherwise. I do not mean to embrace this information in a manner where I might have difficulty letting go of it if the truth shows up and labels it deception.

The nanites say “we fix broken things.”
They say “What will not live on its own which needs to live anyway is made to live until it can live on its own.”

They also say that they are very sorry for all the painful living that must go on until I can learn to live on my own and that every time I choose to die they must bring me back to life. They say I am not permitted to die and I must learn to live on my own.

I have known for a long time that I am not permitted to die, but it is a strange message nonetheless coming from these many, many tiny little beings.

Their voice(s) are familiar; I have channeled information from them in the past.
This is just a bit confusing, if these tiny beings are symbionts are there also parasites (two different groups)? Or do the symbionts only appear to be parasites? Or are the symbionts really parasites masquerading as symbionts?

Do I suspect they are symbionts misunderstood to be parasites because that is in their best interest for me to believe or because it is actually true?

I explained to my Reiki friend that I would try to determine more about these entities I have called nanites or nanos and what the truth of this situation might be. In the course of that day in which I was blocked from receiving healing energy I was directed to two new internet sites by a new member of one of my frequented forums. The second site had a section that described parasites or other entities that may attach themselves to someone’s aura.

I had some trouble accepting some of what these sites had to offer because they describe a strange ‘history’ of the universe and a war between light and dark including a hierarchy of spirits all of which were unfamiliar and which I regarded dubiously. However, what was said in regard to channeling really got my attention. “If a channeled entity appears to be defensive in any way get rid of it.”

That part stuck with me; the nanos definitely appear to be defensive. So I decided they had to go. The nanos defensive tactics included trying to draw me back into many of my old self-destructive habits. I believe they were using those old habits to undermine my higher state of awareness and consciousness to try to prevent me from following up on my investigation of what they might be and to prevent me from getting rid of them.

It seems sensible that I should empower myself to live independently of whatever entities may have attached themselves to me and that I should proceed to clear any foreign entities out of my system. So the next morning I began working with my chakras and energy to try to clean out any parasites or symbionts.

There was a lot of resistance on many levels to this effort to cleanse myself. I am confident that I got rid of a lot of these things but I also believe that their may be enough left to maintain and rebuild their colony. So I will need to do more cleansing work to rid myself of these beings and follow up with visualization work to repair any damage to my aura or chakras.

The resistance and what might appear to be malignancy which I encountered that morning was sufficient to make me wonder whether there really might be a war being waged between beings of light and dark. Too many of my symptoms and experiences are described on the websites which helped to clue me in regarding channeling defensive entities, so I have had to wonder what else might those sites have to say which I doubt but which may really be true?

So I have been thinking about all of this; I have been wondering how much of the information which I found on those websites that described a war between light and dark has merit and how much of that information may only be delusional stuff like I sometimes find in myself.

Since then I have had a chance to further sort things out. One suggestion made by my mother was that these creatures were indeed a survival and support mechanism which I may finally have outgrown. However, she also suggested that these creatures are putting up a challenge to make me work my very hardest to remove them as a test. If I can succeed in removing them then I have passed their test, a test which is meant to ensure that I have indeed adopted a genuine will to live and that I have sufficiently learned the skills necessary to maintain myself independently of any assistance from these creatures which seem to have infested me.

What are these creatures really? Possibly they are a part of myself which has been projected outside of myself because of a conflict within myself regarding my will to live and my desire to die. I desired death so strongly that I perceived my will to live as an externally imposed foreign will whose intent was to keep me alive in spite of my determination to die.

Why do these creatures appear to be nanites? At the root level in which the entire physical universe is created there are tiny conscious entities called quantums. Our minds interact with the quantums to manifest whatever reality we wish to experience. So these nanos may be my personal quantum-nanonic interface, something I have been searching for in order to learn how to better communicate with the universe so that I may consciously manifest whatever I may wish to experience.

Will purging myself of these nanos harm me or help me? The separation of my self into two parts, the nanos and that which I call my self is not healthy; it is a dichotomy that undermines my wellbeing. My efforts to purge them may be misguided, perhaps I must integrate them. Then the only thing I need to purge is my state of perception of these parts of myself as being separate from me. Once that is achieved then all of my powers which I have projected outside of myself in the form of these nanos return to me, completing me.

Is there a war between light and dark, or are there merely many ways in which we create conflict within ourselves which we project into a concept of a war between light and dark? On reflection upon this issue I still believe that no war exists. We may battle with ourselves fruitlessly over our internal conflicts until we learn to clear ourselves of all such inner turmoil, but these battles are not artifacts of a greater war. They are our personal struggles to learn truth for ourselves so that we may realize ourselves as independent self empowered beings.

The war then is a figment of our imaginations created from our ignorance. However, as with all hermetic orders and magickal traditions, this war becomes a concept through which powerful healing techniques may be shared. The outer forms by which this war may be described are meaningless, the true meaning lies hidden within for anyone to discover once they understand the veil of words do not represent reality in any objective manner but do represent reality in an internal and subjective manner which each of us must discover for ourselves.

So the war between light and dark may only exist as an elaborate metaphor to guide us to a state of well being in which we become happier, healthier more loving human beings.

Fledgling author Greg Gourdian has worked with the general public as a psychic reader for a little over four years from 1981 to 1986. Much of his written work is channeled, although he will admit that he has no idea who many of the sources for his channeled work may be. He has many strange tales to tell regarding his spiritual journey and he attempts to tell his tales in a humorous or entertaining manner. While not an accredited teacher, Greg has taught classes in psychology, sociology, metaphysics and parapsychology.

My thanks to my friends Moonshadow, Light1 & Tepet, and to my Mom for helping work this out. My cleansing work this morning went a bit smoother; the visualizations were more clearly foucus.